By: Neal Stephenson

Genre: cyberpunk, neo-noir, grimdark

The Dust Cover Copy

Only once in a great while does a writer come along who defies comparison - a writer so original he redefines the way we look at the world. Neal Stephenson is such a writer and Snow Crash is such a novel, weaving virtual reality, Sumerian myth, and just about everything in between with a cool, hip cybersensibility to bring us the gigathriller of the information age.

In reality, Hiro Protagonist delivers pizza for Uncle Enzo's CosaNostra Pizza Inc., but in the Metaverse he's a warrior prince. Plunging headlong into the enigma of a new computer virus that's striking down hackers everywhere, he races along the neon-lit streets on a search-and-destroy mission for the shadowy virtual villain threatening to bring about Infocalypse. Snow Crash is a mind-altering romp through a future America so bizarre, so outrageous...you'll recognize it immediately.

The Scene

A Note From The Reviewer:

So you folks may wonder why I’m writing up a golden oldie like Snow Crash in a forward-looking review blog. That would be because right now, I’d like to provide some context on current events. In a ‘heads up, this is bad’ way.

If you’ve seen the news lately, you might have heard that Mark Zuckerberg has renamed Facebook as Meta. Yeah, well. Companies rebrand, sure? No big deal, right?
Um, wrong.

The new name, Meta, is drawn from a concept in the book discussed in this review: the Metaverse. In Snow Crash, the Metaverse is an all-encompassing virtual reality that is impossible to avoid interacting with, owned by a crazed corporate tycoon that thinks people are better off mindless. Zuckerberg has stated in an interview that what is described in Snow Crash is what he’s trying to build with Meta...minus the dystopia. So you know what I’m thinking?

I’m thinking that Either he read the book and missed the point

OR

He read the book and chose to be the villian.

And that’s why I want to introduce you to Snow Crash. So you know where Zuck is drawing his inspiration from as he recreates a platform we’re all, however reluctantly, interacting with on a pretty regular basis.

Brace yourselves.

Worldbuilding

There’s a campy, nostalgic delight in diving into Snow Crash. This is especially true when you listen to the audiobook the way I do, because—I kid you not—the recording is spiced with all kinds of deliciously retro whiz, bang, and ‘it’s cyber!’ zapping effects that millennials will remember with various degrees of fondness from 80s’ cartoons.

The story opens with Hiro Protagonist—yep, he named himself that, he thinks it’s funny—delivering a pizza. For the CosaNostra Pizza Inc. That’s right. The Cosa Nostra. The mafia has gone in for pizza. And there’s nobody competing with their corporation…not anymore. You work for them? Deliver the pizza in more than 30 minutes? Well, the mob does with you what the mob does with anyone who doesn’t do so great. Here’s a hint: it involves a straight razor.

It’s disturbing and fascinating how easily I can see the Snow Crash world coming into existence. Basically, terrible events around the world have resulted in mass migrations. This destabilized nation-states right down to the suburb level. They’re burbclaves now, and every single one of them has its own hired security service and customs checks, along with its own culture. White supremacist? Go for White Columns Tm (whites only) More of a Maoist? Choose the Special Economic Zone and buy in.

Corporations have franchised everything, from Judge Bob’s Justice Center to Reverend Wayne’s Pearly Gates, to the road systems. Stephenson summed it up neatly in one quote:

“This is America. People do whatever the fuck they feel like doing, you got a problem with that? Because they have a right to. And because they have guns and no one can fucking stop them. As a result, this country has one of the worst economies in the world.”

In this world, all that matters is who you know and what money you got. And if you own the franchise, you own the people who sign up for it. You can do whatever you want…if you got the cash. You don’t? You do whatever your boss wants. Or your owner. Yeah. Slavery is back. ‘Indenturement’, but it’s slavery.

Getting sick of it all? Jump onto the Metaverse if you’re rich enough to have the hardware. Go to a cyber café if you don’t. That’s where you can have a house instead of a 20X30 hole in the wall to live in. If you’re ugly, your avatar can be beautiful. Hey, it’s a lot better than the real world.

And that’s the ‘normal’ the book starts from. The baseline. After that, it gets bad.

The Crowd

Characterization

Putting aside the silly naming conventions, these characters are awesome. I’m not ashamed to admit that Y.T., badass fast moving skater girl, has influenced my own character writing. She became my epitome of the scrappy girl with a sharp grin and scabs on her elbows that I could root for. Hiro has a very embodied mix of caution, intelligence, and pure adrenaline rush. He’s a fox, both hunter and hunted. Always moving. As Stephenson wrote: “Really, he has only two emotions: sleeping and adrenaline overdrive.”

Another badass character, Raven, is refreshing for his time: he’s an Aleut character who isn’t turned into a Noble Savage, a Drunken Indian, or any other garbage stereotype. I mean, he’s not a nice guy, but that’s the thing: he gets to be a normal guy, not all that great, with skills and flaws. He gets to be a human being. And man is that ever welcome.

And then there’s Bob Rife. Ugh. Bob Rife. That neo-liberal American Christian nightmare. Who is a cable mogul. And a ghoul. Sound familiar? He’s so well characterized for his type that your skin crawls.
Around them is a super-saturated technicolor cast that’s a retro-reality delight to read. But not to live. Definitely not to live.

Writing Style

Written in a vernacular that is absolutely relatable and eminently quotable, Snow Crash is a ton of fun. It breaks the show-don’t-tell rule any time it wants, but in a sidelong-wink sort of way. And while I wouldn’t recommend other folks try the same trick, in Stephenson’s hands it absolutely works. A little taste:

“this is a sign of luxury: a roll-up door that lets up a little bit of red sunlight.”

“That's when the realization comes. It swims up out of her subconscious in the same way that a nightmare does. Or when you leave the house and remember half an hour later that you left a teakettle going on the stove. It's a cold clammy reality that she can't do a damn thing about.”

And this particularly chilling and prescient quote:

“We are all susceptible to the pull of viral ideas. Like mass hysteria. Or a tune that gets into your head that you keep humming all day until you spread it to someone else. Jokes. Urban legends. Crackpot religions. Marxism. No matter how smart we get, there is always this deep irrational part that makes us potential hosts for self-replicating information.”

And damn if Stephenson doesn’t tell us all the truths we don’t want to hear. About American culture. About ourselves. About interacting online—hell, it says it right in the book: interacting in the Metaverse distorts relationships—and about where we could end up.

The Moves

Plot

A breakneck white-knuckle ride through cyberpunk dystopia, the plot is tightly timed, intricately worked and full of awesome tricks and turns. The payoff is a triumphal high ride on an adrenaline rocket right into a delightful katana-wielding denouement. Strap in and enjoy!

Overall Rating

This is a seminal book in the cyberpunk genre. It’s an amazing campy celebration of everything that’s wrong with American culture. And it’s got a katana-wielding hacker.

You gotta give it a try.